LORD Richard Montgomery, and don't you forget it!

[tmcd]

Don't worry, Thomas. Just get the cleanup towels and bowls from that cabinet.

Hush, Thomas. A hint: a page should only apologize once. After that, talk only about how you're fixing it. If you apologize more, a kindly lord will be put to the trouble of reassuring you, and an unkind lord will think worse of you.

Now it's just silly to say sorry for being sorry! Anyway, a lot more serious mistakes have been made. Do the pages still tell the story of LORD Richard Montgomery?

Finish wiping up while I tell you.

I had just finished my first trip under my own command! By which I mean, my father had given me several lords to "advise" me, and being only 12, I knew well enough to do everything they "advised". And I had an overstrength troop of lancers under their own commander. And a safe boring itinerary. But everything went smoothly, so there was a chance of more freedom to come.

Even the weather didn't dampen my mood. It was an unseasonably cold and rainy day when I returned. I was wearing my warmest wool clothes, a hunting outfit. I looked of gentle birth ... probably.

I had a little surprise at my father's chambers. There was someone there as the duty page, but I didn't recognize him, so he must have been newly inducted while I was away.

No matter. I asked him, "Is the king busy with his clerks, or can I see him?"

He game me a dismissive look and demanded, "Tell me your name."

I smiled and answered the question he asked, "My name is Kelson. What's yours?"

I was expecting him to stammer an apology, I'd smile and graciously wave it off, and we'd break the ice.

Oh no. He was disdainful when he said, "I'm LORD Richard Montgomery, son of Earl Montgomery, and don't you forget it! Do you know your father's name?"

You're right to be shocked! Yes, he'd implied my mother was a ... um, a sinner. Luckily, the chamber was fairly empty.

I answered quietly, "Lord Richard Montgomery, my father's name is Brion."

He was attending the man's own door, so I still don't know how he didn't recognize the name or that I looked like him.

He was downright sneering when he said, "I'm glad you're certain of it."

We were saved from more nonsense when a page I knew led in my uncle Nigel. He said, "Richard, I stationed you at the kitchen! Explain why you drove off Andrew from here!"

My mood was foul. Nigel was in charge of pages and squires. He'd given this lout a royal tabard and afflicted us with him, and I wanted Nigel to answer for it.

"Uncle Nigel, step aside with me."

He looked surprised -- I'd never tried to order him. But guardedly he came with me out of earshot.

"Nigel, did you lie with my mother?"

You look as stunned as he did! So many changes of expression and color.

I went on. "LORD Richard Montgomery, Whom. You. Inducted. As. A. Royal. Page.", and yes, I said every word sharply, "didn't recognize the names Kelson or Brion, and asked whether I was sure Brion was my father." Oh, that hit home! "We Haldanes look alike, so either the king or you must be my father. Please tell me I've been correct in calling the king 'father' all these years? I pray I've not been neglecting a son's proper duties to you!" I think I was too sarcastic.

Only one other time did I see him so incredulous and angry. We stormed over to LORD Richard Montgomery.

I bared my teeth at the now-terrified LORD and said, "My father's brother here has words for you. Unless you'd rather talk to my father the king? And do take my word that I will do exactly as you asked. I will never forget the name of LORD Richard Montgomery."

But I've never needed it. Nigel dragged him from the chamber, already lecturing him, and packed him off home before dawn.

Andrew learned lessons about sticking to his assigned duties and not being bullied. You learn that too, Thomas, and learn to be courteous to everyone, especially if you don't know their station.

I learned a lesson too: don't attack a position I can't capture. That was useful later in dealing with the Church. I was still a page, so Nigel was still in charge of me. He assigned me weeks of reading on the kinship of the lords of Gwynedd, with the most smooth and polite assurances that it would be useful. He was right, but I've rarely been so bored!

[tmcd]

Just a little tarradiddle. VERY improbable, especially with the borderline mortal insults!

Why yes, I do read notalwaysright.com and Reddit's MaliciousCompliance.

Any resemblance to any Richard or Montgomery, living, dead, or Deryniverse, is coincidence. No pages were harmed in producing this movie.

I probably didn't get the wording right for first person for a known character. I only used first person to delay the "Kelson" reveal.

I like the notion that, like in the first chapter of Deryni Rising, Brion and Nigel have realized that they can be subtle with Kelson. "It'll keep the boy on his toes" "Yes, good practice in dealing with lords and diplomats and such" while suppressing their chuckles. Brion didn't have to tell Kelson that he wasn't actually in charge, though one of the lords probably had a royal writ in his pouch as a fallback. And Kelson understood Nigel's message well enough: "I can't actually have you caned for insinuating that about me, but I can make you wish I had".

[Laurna]

That is wonderful!  I love seeing Kelson challenged and keeping his cool with wit. Although with that kind of insult I am surprised that Richard Montgomery did not lose his head after Nigel walked in.

TMCD good job!  More Please.

[Evie]

LOL! Let's hope for "LORD Richard's" sake that he's a younger son, with an older brother destined to live very long, so that he will be in no danger of ever becoming his father's heir and have to return to Rhemuth in his lifetime. Or at least in Kelson's! 😂 🍿

[Jerusha]

Oh, well done, and very enjoyable! 

[Shiral]

I'm sure LORD Richard Montgomery didn't get a very warm reception when he got home. Especially not if Nigel wrote and let his father know exactly why his services were no longer required in Rhemuth.

"You failed to recognize His Highness the Crown Prince and implied that Queen Jehana did WHAT?"

I like the image of the Kelson taking a moment out of his day to both reassure and school a no doubt nervous new page.
Melissa

[tmcd]

Although with that kind of insult I am surprised that Richard Montgomery did not lose his head after Nigel walked in.

That's LORD Richard Montgomery, and don't you forget it!

If I remember the system right, pages became squires at about 14, the age of adulthood, so Dick was maybe 11 or 12. I think being a minor might have been the thing saving him.

I edited it to make the insults more private and hideable.

[tmcd]

Let's hope for "LORD Richard's" sake that he's a younger son

I actually thought about that! (I have no idea why I bothered to think about it ...) He's a younger son of a cousin of some sort of the duchess of Claibourne. Duke Ewan owed that family a favor, and tried to advance the lad by asking Nigel to take him on. When the ducal knight's service is raised for royal service, like the Torenthi invasion or the Mearan rebellion, Richard very much stays home. His father or brother would rather pay the scutage for a substitute.

[revanne]

Loved this, thank you.

[Evie]

When the ducal knight's service is raised for royal service, like the Torenthi invasion or the Mearan rebellion, Richard very much stays home. His father or brother would rather pay the scutage for a substitute.

Yeah, they probably wouldn't want Kelson to stick the annoying twerp up on the front line! 

[DerynifanK]

This Was delightful. I very much enjoyed the way in which Kelson handled the situation. I would not have wanted to be Richard when he reached home He will never be out of the doghouse. Hoping we can look forward to more. DFK

[LeDuc]

LOL! OHHH My 'lord'! I definitely had a good ol' laugh reading this short story.