Poor Prince Kelson Squinted Out

[tmcd]

Araxie was still concerned about her mother, though the afternoon's port to the Ile d'Orsal had dispelled worries about the worst. Since she hadn't felt up to facing the hall, they were finishing a small private dinner.

Kelson suddenly realized that Nigel and the McLeans were there and Javan was done serving them, so he might cheer them all up without giving any of his children any ideas.

Kelson intoned, "Nigel, I wonder if you would clear up a little mystery. Two martyrdoms of the feast of Saint Stephen."

All of them looked taken aback for a moment at Kelson's words and smile, except then Dhugal barked a short laugh.

Kelson explained to the company. "Dhugal and I decided, very maturely for being ... twelve?, that it was time we got some experience with drink that wasn't heavily watered."

Smiles broke out all around, and it was Nigel's turn to laugh.

Nigel asked, "Oh, I remember it well. What possessed you to try it on Christmas night?"

Kelson replied, "It was one of the largest feasts of the year, of course, so the butler and the rest of the staff would be too busy to keep a close eye on the pages. Easter was too long to wait."

Nigel humphed and said, "Oh, so you did get into the castle wine. I wondered whether Caulay had sent Dhugal a jug of whisky or something."

Dhugal waved that off. "He was too wise to send that to a boy, and the purses of the MacArdrys have never been full enough to give much allowance even to a tanist!"

Nigel continued the questioning. "How did you get around the butler? He was determined to get his budget under control and cut back the flow of wine."

Kelson smiled. "I had already figured out the system with the wine and the water." To the quizzical looks from others, he expanded on it. "The butler kept track of who took bottles of wine to make sure they all came back in reasonable quantities. But nobody tracked the water pitchers. Only certain squires served wine, while lowly pages only handled water, and the castle servants handled most jugs and such." Expressions cleared as he explained, "So most people would have had to suborn a squire to drink the king's wine. But Nigel wouldn't keep on a bad squire, no matter how high born they were."

Nigel said, "I had a system of discipline so that they all kept eyes on each other. The punishments were minor and only a little humiliating so that nobody felt bad about snitching. They actually enjoyed it. For that matter, a squire should have had no qualms about agreeing and then ratting out someone. How did you get around that?"

Kelson smiled beatifically. "Not many squires will snitch on the heir to the throne." Nigel groaned in realization of the loophole. "Squires had to keep an eye out on their futures, after all, and a favor for a favor. Plus I had long since sounded out boys who would cooperate generally."

Nigel proclaimed in mock outrage, "You and your Deryni wiles!"

Kelson smiled as he said, "Come to think of it, it might have been, all unknowing! I always thought it was just the training of a prince. If a prince can't tell who to trust, his reign is going to be a problem." Leaning forward, he asked, "What I want to know: what gave us away? We were so sure we were so much wiser than our elders, too clever to go too far with drink." At this, there were general chuckles.

"The guards." Kelson was the one to harumph at that as Nigel continued, "They can't hope for a possible reward from a someday possible king when this week's pay depends on today's king. And they really do want to keep an eye out to keep trouble away, especially to protect the feckless." Kelson saluted ironically while Nigel continued, "You were noticed steadying yourself along the wall as you dragged Dhugal back to his chamber. At least you weren't loud."

Kelson retorted, "Yes, because Dhugal had been laughing so much that I had to stuff my handkerchief into his mouth!" At that, everyone laughed, none more than Dhugal.

Dhugal took up the tale. "As for 'minor punishments': my a-- um, aunt Lucy! I got His Royal Highness the Duke of Carthmoor around dawn bellowing, 'Get up! You have the great honor of attending the royal family at the Saint Stephen mass and distribution of largess! Up already, lazybones!' I got several extra attendants to wrestle me into my livery, so that's when I figured we'd been caught."

Kelson sorrowfully said, "I was 'honored' by no less than His Majesty the King. He punched me in the shoulder too. It hurt like falling off a horse." The group were laughing more unrestrainedly.

Nigel said righteously, "Given that I was woken up by a guard in the depths of Christmas Night, and then I had to go wake up the king, I'd say it was equal justice!"

Kelson spoke again. "The morning after was the clearest and brightest winter's day that I remember. It felt like I was being stabbed in the eyes. My dear confessor was there to help steady me and get me ahorse." He looked accusingly at Duncan.

That archbishop looked like a living personification of the Pelagian heresy, by his own unsupported will kept from sin, while declaiming, "I took the opportunity to preach a bit, for the good of Kelson's soul of course. I said that the world would be better if more virtue had an immediate reward of gratitude and thanks, like Saint Stephen's presents to the poor. Just as it would be better if all sin quickly earned punishment."

Kelson said, "You were loud too." Duncan replied, "All the better for my message to get through, if your ears were having as much trouble as your eyes."

Nigel spoke on. "Mass wasn't too bad. I only had to thwack them a dozen times apiece to keep them awake." Several were almost hiccuping or coughing from laughing from the over-acted faces the speakers had been putting on.

Araxie waved them to stop for a breather before asking, "Kelson, I see why you rarely drink much."

Kelson said, "Oddly enough, a few months later, my father gave me a small wine allowance." He looked at Nigel, who injected, "Brion and I thought that you'd learned your lesson. He wanted to see what you did with it, and he was pleased."

Kelson retorted, "He should have been, with all the thought I had to put into it! After a little while, I threw a short party. I carefully invited enough guests that there was only enough wine for half a cup for each page, but a full cup for each squire for their higher station. And I was careful to invite the squires George Camlin and ... Joram MacRae? ... yes, who I knew were close to Nigel but also liked me."

Nigel looked pleased again by his nephew's sagacity while Kelson explained, "It's better policy to know the spies and what they see, rather than be taken unaware."

"So to conclude, please top off your goblets", but Kelson used a water pitcher and others followed him, "a toast to abstinance!".

[tmcd]

I actually had the idea on Christmas Day, but didn't have time to make it a seasonal post. I had had the idea of rewriting this to be a simple showing of the events, "show don't tell", but I never mustered the energy.

[revanne]

I love it.

Thank you

[DerynifanK]

This was fun. Thank you

[Laurna]

That was delightful TMCD. Thank you

[Jerusha]

Very enjoyable!  More, please.