I hope y'all can forgive me double-posting, but this really belongs here instead of where it was originally homed. It was literally my very first attempt at actual fanfic and I wrote it four years ago when I first joined the Castle (and was using a different username). And it's not so much fanfic as... well... something else.
(Flash-fiction)
***
Mob boss EARL MARLEY is dead, and the only suspect is his sultry widow RICKI MARLEY. Mayor KELSON BRIONSON wants answers before a mob war tears Rhemuth apart. It's up to detective AL "ERIC" MORGAN of the RPD and his partner JOHN DERRY to provide those answers. But those answers lead to more questions than they bargained for, and soon federal agent DUNCAN "MAC" LANE is snooping into their investigation. Soon, the three are caught in the crossfire between the rival Archbishops and the Torenthi mobs, and they'll have to work together just to survive.
But the city is full of people who can't be trusted... or can they? Morgan's own chief of Police, JEHENNA FRENCH, is gunning for him; seems she doesn't trust a cop who plays by his own rules. Then there are district attorneys DENNY ARILAN and TOM CARDIEL: do they actually work for the city or are they on someone else's payroll? And what about RHYDON THE SQUEALER? He's provided good info on the Torenthi gang in the past, but he may be betraying both sides. And then there's Ricki Marley, herself. The electric attraction Morgan feels toward her doesn't give him any clue whether she's just a grieving widow or actually the brains behind Earl Marley's entire operation.
Whether you're a long-time fan or brand new, don't miss...
CSI: RHEMUTH.
I vaguely recall reading this when it was first posted and thinking it would be really cool to see it fleshed out as a full noir detective story. ;D
You were having way to much fun with that! I agree, I want the whole story!
Quote from: Evie on November 25, 2024, 07:49:50 PMI vaguely recall reading this when it was first posted and thinking it would be really cool to see it fleshed out as a full noir detective story. ;D
If I had even the vaguest clue about how to write a detective noir or a police thriller, I'd give it a go. Unfortunately, I know nothing about how to write such a story.
Quote from: Nezz on November 25, 2024, 09:29:34 PMQuote from: Evie on November 25, 2024, 07:49:50 PMI vaguely recall reading this when it was first posted and thinking it would be really cool to see it fleshed out as a full noir detective story. ;D
If I had even the vaguest clue about how to write a detective noir or a police thriller, I'd give it a go. Unfortunately, I know nothing about how to write such a story.
Well, once you've read a few dozen, you'll have a better feel for the genre, and then it's more a matter of figuring out what the crime or mystery is that needs solving, who did what deed and how, and once
you know that (but the characters don't), figure out how to set things up in a way that they can discover the answers.
At least I think that's how sane people do it. If they're an extreme pantser like me, they just say "Welp, OK, I've just stumbled on a mystery. I'll just have my protag start throwing ideas at it until something sticks!" But I can't really recommend that method on a story of this sort unless you are willing to keep going back to earlier scenes so you can retrofit them to fit in with ideas that occur to you in later chapters. (Which, admittedly, I had to do a time or two in "Balance of Power" when certain plot twists came along that made me go "Wait, what? Um...yeah, that will work, but I need to go back and tweak
this first....") ;D
I'm pretty sure I've seen books on Amazon on how to plot out detective fiction. They would probably be a lot more helpful for you than my usual "inspired chaos" style of story plotting. LOL!
Somehow I missed this first time round. I love it.
Lester Dent, who did a lot of pulp detective stories, provided this formula: https://www.firstdraftpro.com/blog/the-ultimate-guide-to-the-lester-dent-formula
Al is sitting at his desk with his feet propped up, a fan lazily trying to move the air. Ricki, a blonde bombshell, sultries in through the door, with a mob sob story about her dead husband.
After that, don't forget the rule, I forget whether it was from Hammett or Chandler. When you're stuck, have two guys with guns burst thru the door.
BTW, I think "CSI" and "noir" don't mix as styles.
Quote from: tmcd on November 26, 2024, 02:57:35 AMAl is sitting at his desk with his feet propped up, a fan lazily trying to move the air. Ricki, a blonde bombshell, sultries in through the door, with a mob sob story about her dead husband.
I read that as AI (artificial intelligence) instead of Al and was very puzzled until my brain clicked in.
Quote from: Jerusha on November 25, 2024, 09:24:59 PMYou were having way to much fun with that! I agree, I want the whole story!
Me too. A great start, need the rest of it
Hmmm. This would be fun. Is it a modern take?
Quote from: Bynw on March 20, 2025, 02:37:40 PMHmmm. This would be fun. Is it a modern take?
It would have to be. And the little bit that I've visualized is in a modern big city.
Sounds like a fun story. Could be fun as a gaming adventure too. Never know how it might end based on what the players would do.
Quote from: Bynw on March 20, 2025, 02:51:54 PMSounds like a fun story. Could be fun as a gaming adventure too. Never know how it might end based on what the players would do.
Go for it. Maybe after our Grecotha bunch finishes their game (or needs to take a break), you could GM a mini-game of officers and agents set in the future.
Quote from: Nezz on March 20, 2025, 02:55:54 PMQuote from: Bynw on March 20, 2025, 02:51:54 PMSounds like a fun story. Could be fun as a gaming adventure too. Never know how it might end based on what the players would do.
Go for it. Maybe after our Grecotha bunch finishes their game (or needs to take a break), you could GM a mini-game of officers and agents set in the future.
Oh no. Then I would have to write the adventure and all kinds of things. I just think it would be a useful idea for a game. Maybe you should write it :)